4 years later

Assalamu'alaikum.

Hello.
Its been 4 years since I last wrote something here.
Wanted to erase everything and delete this blog.
Then I read my once "funny" post and decided against it.

So. Here we are.

I am too lazy to make a post

Too lazy. But here it is.
A post.
Yes I did make lots of draft.
But I never get to finish them.

Adab & Etika Dalam Tandas @ Bilik Mandi

Khas untuk yang tinggal dalam hostel @ asrama @ beramai-ramai share satu rumah. Yang penting bukan kau sorang ja.

1. Kalau orang sebelah berak, dan kebetulan orang sebelah tu kau kenal, janganlah bawa dia bercerita...... Orang sibuk meneran tu.....

2. Janganlah tinggalkan sisa makanan anda yang telah diproses tu di dalam mangkuk tandas, di lantai, dinding atau sinki. Bersihkan sepenuhnya sehingga hilang bau, warna dan rasa.

3. Jangan sibuk bercerita depan pintu tandas kalau nampak ada orang tengah kelam kabut menahan terkeluarnya sisa-sisa toksik dari pintu belakangnya.

4. Jangan bergayut dengan pakwe/makwe sambil berak. Terutamanya tengah-tengah malam. Orang lain yang takut terdengar suara perempuan mengilai tiba-tiba.. Dahla tandas tu boleh amplify suara empat kali ganda. .

5. Jangan curi tempat orang. Kalau orang dah save tempat tu, jangan alihkan barang-barang mandi dia pastu kau yang mandi. Come on lah... Not cool dude! Lain lah kalau dah berjam-jam kau tunggu. Boleh di maafkan..

6. Jangan makan dalam tandas. Bukan sebab aku tak suka, tapi memang tak bagus. Tempat tidur dan makan syaitan, sana jugak lah kau makan tiba-tiba... At least tunggu lah dia invite, pelawa makan sama-sama..

7. Jangan mandi terlalu lama. Kalau setakat 30minit - 1jam ok lagi kot. Ni macam kau tidur terus di tempat mandi tu... Sila lah bawa bantal dan selimut lain kali baru lah kami tau kau akan lama dalam tu..

8. Uhm... tu ja. Yang lain fikir lah sendiri. Kalau di rumah sendiri dan kau tinggal satu orang ja, buat lah sesuka hati. Kau mau buat parti dalam tandas pun boleh. Jangan invite aku sudah.

Thanks for reading. :)

'Itu Agama Sesat!'

Scene 1: A mother and her daughter were buying fish at the market. The mother was wearing a simple short sleeved blouse with tight leggings and hijab small enough to cover her huge head while the daughter wears a long sleeved shirt with baggy pants and hijab that covers almost half of her upper body. While scavenging for fish at the tables, something caught the mothers attention.

Mother: Ha! Tengok tu Tipah! Tudung dia besar gila! Boleh buat langsir sudah tu!

Tipah: Alah Umi, ok lah tu. Dia jaga aurat dia betul-betul.

Mother: Minta tu ikan satu kilo! (pointing to the pile of  fishes on the tables that are known to the Sabahans as Ikan Basung) Alah Tipah, tu ekstremis tu. Ajaran sesat! 


After getting the fish from the fishmonger, they went inside the car. The mother continues.

Mother: Tipah... Umi tidak mau anak Umi jadi kain langsir macam tu. Sudahlah panas. Rimas. Menyusahkan ja tu nanti. Yang penting kau cover apa yang patut. Pakai baju, seluar dan tudung macam ni pun cukup sudah. Tidak payah tutup habis-habis. Islam tu kan mudah. Mesti ada kelonggaran kan? Alah. Moden sudah bah ni!

Tipah: ........................


Scene 2: A father is sending her daughter to a school function. The father mistakenly thought the event is at school, when it is at the mosque.

Sojat: Daddy, bukan sini event tu Dad..

Dad: Aik? Jadi mana?

Sojat: Sana masjid..

Dad: (Looks at her angrily) Program apa juga ni?!

Sojat: Ada qiamulail Dad........ (A hint of fear in her voice)

Dad: QIAMULAIL?! KAN DADDY SUDAH CAKAP JANGAN IKUT BENDA2 MACAM TU. TU LAGI, KAKAK2 USRAH KAU TU! USRAH APA JUGAK TU KO INGAT! DORANG SEMUA CUCI OTAK KAU JA TU UNTUK UNDI PAS! SUDAH! BALIK!!

Sojat: Tapi...

Dad: JANGAN KAU MELAWAN SANA. AKU TAMPAR KAU NANTI... KURANG AJAR BETUL.

So the father drove back to their house and forbids her to go to any of those religious events again.



So what actually happens here?

The liberal mother? The overly-strict political father?

Whose at fault?

Is it theirs? Or is it their lack of knowledge and their own ignorance to their own religion?

Islam itu mudah... Islam itu lengkap. Islam is our way of life.

It's just us that makes it complicated, incomplete thus starts to lose our faith toward The Almighty.

But before we start comparing ourselves to those I've mention up there, try and judge yourself.
Are we even good enough to say those people up there are bad?
Are we even worthy?




Again. A blabber worth blabbing about. haha :P
Thanks for reading.