I'm Not That Nice`

Satu luahan hati dan minda dan keter'rajin'an tangan ak menaip. Beware! This is all full of nonsense! Don't read if U dun like reading nonsense!!!

U've been warned..

A friend of mine asked me one day.

Eca: Zen! Napa ko ni baik sangat?

Me: Aku? Baik? Hahaha! Bila masa pulak?

Eca: Ye lah, ko selalu tolong aku, and bila aku datang bilik ko culik laptop ko, ko tak pernah nak marah.. Eh...ya....ko pandai marah orang tak??

Me: Marah? Ofkos lah pandai sayang oi.

Eca: Aku tak pernah nampak ko marah....Zen, napa ko ni baik sangat ye?

Haish.....Am I that nice? I don't think so...

Tetiba teringat lak semula memori Form 1. Zaman masih lagi main bubut-bubut (kejar2) ngan kawan, zaman bertanding beg siapa lagi cantik, zaman jahil2 lagi selalu bergusti ngan kazen2 laki gue pastu selalu aku selalu menang...ah....good times.....

Tapi masa tu, soalan yang sama (not really the same lah) ditujukan kepadaku oleh seorang kawan yang aku kenal sejak Darjah 6 sekolah rendah.

Let's just call her Z.

Z: Zen....kalau aku tanya ko ni, jangan marah ah?

Zen: (tengah menconteng buku teks kawan) Tanya jak lah...

Z: Uhm........

Zen: Cakap jak..

Z: Uhm....KO ni lesbian ka?

Zen: .................................

Seentap!

Aku yang time tu tengah lukis kaki manusia tiba2 terlukis kaki ayam yang macam chopstik.

Terkejut!

Zen: Huh?????!

Z: Ya lah bah. Ko terlalu baik bah ngan kami. (Kami is referring to my girl friends lah)

Zen: Ha? (masih terkejut)

Z: Jadi ko lesbian ka ni tidak??

Zen: Lesbian? Aku? Hahaha! Tidak lah! Aku suka ngan laki ok.....Ish3....

Z: Fiuh....nasib baik... Lain kali jangan baik betul bah...nanti aku salah faham....

Zen: . . . . . . . .

Seriously that was the one question that I remembered till this day.....

Sorry Z, but I was really shocked..

Haha~

But seriously, am I.......(gulp)...nice??

I don't think so oh.....

I can be evil at times..

Haha!

These are a list of things that shows I'm actually evil.

1. I spit....in the washroom...so that people will step on it! Kejam kan? Haha

2. I can use my EVIL and BRILLIANT mind to make people suffer........it's just that I don't want to show it yet... Nanti lah.. When the time comes.. He.he.he...

3. I laugh at people who fell! Haha!! U fell to the ground! U funny! Haha! Haha! (this is a total fabrication...I don't laugh.....kan Tini?? KFC??)

4. I laugh at people a lot. Regardless of what they look like, what they wear, their...uhm...gender and such. I laugh at the least probable cause. I laugh even when there's nothing to laugh at, so that people will start asking why I laugh. Then I'd laugh again seeing how much they wanted to know why I laugh, it's torture to some of them. Haha~!!

5. Sometimes I pretend I'm sleeping (usually in the cars lah, but most of the time I WAS SLEEPING) and starts listening to secrets that some people would only share when I'm not around. Sometimes they would also talk about people they think I don't know. Hahaha~ Peeps, I KNOW UR SECRETS.. ^^

6. I'm a hypocrite. I know that. People say that to me also. But...I have one question. What in the world is a H.Y.PO.C.R.I.T.E.???

7. I'm sadistic.

8. I'm pessimistic.......to people.

9. I'm realistic. (eh, ni pun kategori evil meh????)

10. I pretend I like something when I actually don't. Like someone's cooking.. If it tasted...uhm...not that good, I'd pretend I like it, and force it down my throat like I did when eating Oat Crackers my mom forced me to eat with my brother when I was a kid... Hahah.. Those were the days....After I couldn't force it down anymore, my brother told me to throw it out the window. Sorry mom! I love U! Just not the Oat.

11. I got into a fight once, I choked my opponent until she turned a bit blue, then I let go. Kejam kan?? hahahaha~~~ (this actually was only in my imagination.....I wanted to do that so much I kept on repeating the evil things I'm gonna do to her over and over again..haha)

12. I hid MILOs back when I was a kid so that I can eat it alone, and my brother and little sisters won't get their hands on it. Hahaha tamak kan?? miahaha

13. I'd secretly read my sister's diary in her room.... Sometimes I read it with my brother.... Then we both laughed at the contents. MIAHAHAHA~ Well, she was very emotional at those times........

14. The contents of her diary were sometimes the topic of my conversations with my brother.

15. When she stopped writing diaries, or she started hiding them well enough, my brother and I started a new hobby. Making her life miserable! As she did ours.. But, well, we kinda lost in that battle. She'd always win.............coz she's older. Darn it!

16. Sometimes I tell people I don't have money, when I actually do, it's just that I don't wanna use it. But when I say I don't have money, it actually means I'm saving money. Haha~ Sometimes people would start spending me stuffs when I said those lines. Feel a tad of guilt there, that's why sometimes I run away. Hahahaha~

Uhm... I ran out of ideas.........Hmm...

Ok, honestly, I can't think of any BRIGHT EVIL DOINGS I did in the past years. All I did was....sorry to say....SAFE. Good. Hahaha~ Perasan lah tu.. Kikiki!

But I'm not good kay?

I'm eeeeviiiiLLLLLL~~~

Hail to my EVILNESS! A book yet to be written.....

Hmm..... Am I good? Or am I evil?????