Kalau Aku Lelaki

1. Aku yakin aku paling hensem... Alah sebagai perempuan pun aku memang paling hensem. Bak kata pepatah bapa aku. 

*Flashback suatu masa dahulu*
Aku tengah duduk dengan cara paling macho sekali menengok tv sambil tertidur. 

Bapa: Hen! Cuba dulu ko menyamar jadi lelaki, jalan-jalan di KK (Kota Kinabalu), mesti banyak perempuan kejar tu! Baru lah macam anak dadi! Hensem! 

Uhuk-uhuk. 

2. Aku yakin aku ada 6 packs......tersembunyi somewhere di lapisan lemak-lemak aku...

3. Aku yakin aku paling gentlemen. Sebab aku memahami hati seorang wanita. Miahaha~

4. Aku yakin aku akan jadi jejaka paling di kejar-kejar wanita-wanita yang kesunyian... =p

5. Aku yakin aku akan jadi boypren/tunang/suami yang terbaik......................dalam menghabiskan makanan.

6. Aku yakin aku akan berjaya.......................menjadi penari poco-poco paling mantap.

7. Aku yakin aku akan menjadi seorang lelaki yang amat bergaya..........................sangat-sangat bergaya. 

8. Aku yakin aku akan suka minum susu. Milk-a-holic. Low fat preferably.

9. Aku yakin aku dapat jalan-jalan seorang diri tak kira waktu dan tempat tanpa merisaukan famili. Perempuan susah! Bahaya! Selalu kan dengar kes-kes tak patut tu berlaku kat kaum hawa. Tapi tak pernah lak dengar lelaki dirogol perempuan............ ==''''

10. Aku yakin aku boleh main game tanpa jemu....and continuously win. 

11. Aku yakin aku bijak pandai pintar. 

12. Aku yakin rupa aku nanti macam ni. 

*Picture is from Google Images.

Who I Wanted To Be

Ingat lagi ka time kecik-kecik kiut-miut montel-dontel seksi-meksi sot-sot inesen-inesen dulu?

Mesti ramai orang-orang besar dewasa tanya kita kan "besar nanti mau jadi apa?"

Aku ingat lagi cita-cita aku dulu waktu kecil.

Mau jadi doktor haiwan.

Because I love animals.

Tapi abang-abang aku takutkan aku,

kena pegang BABI lah, ANJING lah.

Anjing aku no hal, sebab anjing-anjing KIUT.

Aww~ Kiut! Kiut! Kiut! Argh~ Argh~ Yaw! Yaw!
Ehem!

BABI tu yang aku tak mau pegang. 

Takut haram punya pasal .

(Tapi anjing mau betul pula pegang... cett~)

Tapi babi pun kiut apa? Alololo~~

So, aku tukar cita-cita.

Mau jadi doktor.

Boleh bedah-bedah orang.

"A reason to cut people open" is what I always said to my friends...

Ish3....

Tu sebenarnya kaver jak..

Aku ni sebenarnya berhati mulia. *mode bangga dan memuji diri*

Mau jadi superhero macam Powerpuff Girls.

Cuma aku takda superpower....

Dan aku bukan KECIK.

*sob sob* 

Ehem!

Bila bagitau orang aku mau jadi doktor,

semua puji lah.

"Wah, bagus anak ko ni Bos, nanti boleh jadi kaya jadi doktor!"

Ok ladies and gentlemen. 

Aku mengaku aku dibiasakan jadi CHEAPSKATE dari kecik.

Dibiasakan jadi TAMAK dari kecik.

Bukan apa, kalau tamak tu kan cepat kaya sebab jarang kuar duit.

Kan kan kan? 

Ehem.

Terpesong lagi.

Ah.

Aku sebenarnya mau tulis lain,

yang kuar lain pula!

CHEESE AND WHISKERS! *my kinda curse*

Ok, aku tukar cita-cita aku.

Sebab abang-abang aku (ya my brothers again...) cakap kalau mau jadi doktor, mesti straight A student.

Aku bukannya budak pandai.

Tak pernah dapat straight A.

Tapi sudah rezeki aku dapat USM kan?

*mode bersyukur teramat sangat*

So aku tukar mau jadi cikgu.

Peh!

Muka aku jadi cikgu!

Ajar adik pun tak pass!

Pastu explain pun tak pandai!

Ish3...

So, aku tukar balik cita-cita.

Mau jadi cashier di kedai Gui. (kedai Gui supermarket terkenal di Kota Belud. lalala~~)

Ya, pemikiranku yang cetek dulu (sekarang pun masih cetek....huhu) membuatkan aku fikir ada sikit jak kerja di dunia ni.

Kalau bukan doktor, engineer.

Kalau bukan engineer, cikgu.

Selain dari tu, cashier dan surirumah jak.

Ah~

Jadi surirumah pun aku FAIL.

Ehem~

Kejap,

apa tujuan aku bagitau kamu semua ni? 

Darn.

Lupa.

Ah!

Ok, aku tak mau cerita pasal cita-cita lagi.

To be honest, aku takda cita-cita dulu.

Just go with the flow.

Sekarang?

Hehehe mau jadi doktor.

Napa?

Sebab......matahari....apa yang paling disayangi? (Ini bermaksud aku tak mau bagitau apa sebab. Sekian)

Ok. Who I wanted to be.

FINALLY!

SAMPAI KE ISI PENTING.

TUJUAN UTAMA KENAPA AKU TULIS ENTRI INI.

Kalau aku perempuan, aku mau jadi dia.

Hana Tajima Simpson.
Memang cantik.

Aku sampai tua takkan jadi macam dia.
Sebab aku lagi kiut-miut seksi-meksi cantik-molek.
*mode tak mau terima kenyataan*

Kalau aku lelaki pula, aku mau jadi dia.

Brendon Urie from Panic At The Disco.
Wanna be like him.
No, scratch that. Can I marry him instead?
=p

Kalau aku ehem...gay, aku mau jadi macam ni.

I don't mean JT is gay. I mean, if I was gay, I would wanna be him. Uhm.. Y?
No reason. Lalala~

Ok, aku mengaku aku merapu.

HAHA bukan aku memang suka merapu ka?

Lalala~

*pics from Google Images*

I Like To Annoy People

On a busy and boring day at home,

My mom was taking a nap at the couch.

So I figured "Why not annoy her for fun?"

Yea my evil mind is working perfectly!

I wanna do this. 

So I gave it a shot.

Me: Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, momma, momma, momma, momma, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, umi, umi, umi, umi, umi, umi, umi, umi, mak, mak, mak, mak, mak, mak, mak, mak, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, umi, mak, mama, mum, mum, mum, mom, mom, mom, mak, mak, mak, mak, mak, mak.

*DEBUKK!!!* 

Something big and soft hit my head. 

Sis: SHUT UP!!! 

My sister had thrown a teddy bear at my head. 

I looked back at my mom. She's still sleeping.

The trick did not work on her.

Darn.

Oh well, at least I annoyed someone.

MIAHAHAH~

P/S: I tried this one before, and it worked. Don't know why it didn't this time.

Probably she's to darn tired to response.

Huhu~

When I'm Bored And Got Nothing To Do

I got four months of holiday,

and unemployed.

Unless U consider what I do almost everyday which is looking after my bro's shop,

or you could say; taking care of my big brother like a baby (Hehehe just joking) a JOB, then I'm good.

So the boredom disease came by a lot.

And seriously,

A LOT.

Every single day.

I just sit around, play around with the laptop (not mine) and facebook all the time.

Honestly facebook bores me to death.

==''

Normally, when I'm bored, I'd do these.

At Home.

1. Annoy my mother.

2. Annoy my sisters.

3. Watch a book.

4. Feel a book.

5. Touch a book.

6. Read a book.

7. Taste a book.

8. Jump all around the house.

9. Climb a tree. (I rarely do these nowadays.)

10. Go on top of our huge water tank and enjoy the view. =D

11. Poke my cat with a stick.

12. Poke my brother with a stick.

13. Poke my dad with a stick.

14. Draw some random things all over my desk. (I used to have one. Now it belongs to my sister.... T.T)

15. Create miniature homes....using toenails.(joking, joking. I just found another way of recycling those keratins.....Bake a cake. )

16. Bake a cake.

17. Bake my cat.

18. Perform liposuction on my siblings. My regular customer is my brother. Lalala~

19. Perform various surgeries on a dead fish before cooking it and feeding it to my cats.

20. Perform various surgeries on my brother before he realize that bits of him were cut off. (U should thank me bro)

21. Fishing.....in my dad's fish pond.

22. Clean the house.

At my room back in USM.

1. Sleep.

2. Play guitar.

3. Sleep.

4. Annoy Tini.

5. Sleep.

6. Eat.

7. Eat.

8. Putting food into my mouth.

At my bro's shop.

1. Play Internet.

2. Watch downloaded movies.

3. Walk around town.

4. Poke my brother with a stick. (In this case, I find poking with my index finger does pretty much the same effect to his annoyed level as does the stick.)

5. Facebook. Huh..... 

6. Look at the customer. 

7. Smile at them.

8. Curse at them when they call me 'kak'. 

9. Eat more ice cream!

What I do when I'm bored differs with places. 

Don't you?

Lalala~~

(Hari ni aku merapu lagi. Yeye~) 

4 bulan buat benda yang sama. Yeay freedom. 

==''