Saturday, February 20, 2010

The True Meaning Of Love

This n3 is for weekend @ sheffield. Masuk2 ja lah...

Love is a general word,
Love is something we hoped for,
Something we need,
Something we can't live without.

However, in my n3 this time, i'm gonna tell about the love i found after i was million miles away from could say, an ocean separates us.

That person is my dad....

My dad has became my greatest inspiration in my life, him and also my mother.
But the one that lead the greatest impact in my life is him.

When my siblings and I were small, my dad and mom raised us to believe that this world is easy and that as long as we study hard, everything will fall into place.

But that's no where close to reality..

My dad, he wanted us to feel pain as well.
Suffered, and to understand the state he is in now.
It took us a long time to understand what he actually meant,
but now it seems like is has became too little too late.

That's just the introdution to my point..hehe....this is going to be a looooong n3.

Ehem..ehem...back to my story.

When i was small, i had always hated my dad.
For being him, for always getting angry for no reason,
for never really cared for what i had achieved,
making me feel like as though i'm not loved.
He had always cared for my other siblings more than me.
Whenever they make mistakes, it seems as though it is easy for him to forgive them,
but when i made the slightest mistake,
He'd let me have it the worse.
I still remember the many slaps i got from him.
On one single night.
I can't even count how many i've received from him.

I also cannot accept the fact that he had a REALLY hard time in believing me.
He wouldn't believe that i have extra classes on holidays.
He wouldn't believe it if i didn't do anything wrong.
You could say he was constantly at my back, watching me, waiting for me to do something that upsets him.
That really annoys me.

But, little did i know,
He was the one who really cared so much for me.
When I first got my SPM results, he was the first to call me.
When i got accepted to Labuan Matriculation College, he was the one who wanted to see me off,
he even helped me with all the preparation.

Last year, in Ramadhan, i was kinda low in cash,
and i would only buy Nasi Lemak that cost RM2 a day to break my fast,
Then I almost cried when he sent me that sms..

"Sudah bank-in RM200. Beli lah buah-buahan. Baru sihat."

Those simple words made me believed, he really cares about me.

Like they say,
The GAJAH in front you cannot see,
The SEMUT across the ocean you can see.

My dad worked his life to make our life better,
The reason he had always come home in bad mood was because he has to figure out how to pay this and how to pay that,
In the meantime he is also thinking of how we are going to eat for that day.
He's constantly on the move, trying to figure out how to pay for the luxuries we asked for,
He even opened up a business,
so that he will also have money to feed us even though he is retired,
But even that was not a complete success,
As the strong wind had ruined the shop,
and barely any customers come now,
as it is dangerous,
and not family friendly.

But he's sick,
And it's breaks my heart to see him work that hard.

In one day, he'll eat lots and lots of pills, medicine for the pain,
The pain he got, by raising us.
When he bled, I was watching the television,
When he cried, I was laughing with my friends,
And when he was in pain, I was the one holding the knife on his throat...
He had sacrificed his whole life for us,
he dedicated himself to watch us become successful in life,
and have it easier than he did when he was young.

He never wanted us to feel poverty.

And that's why, I had come to know the real father i have.
The one I hated so much, had become the one I never want to let go,
The one I never want to see suffer,
The one I want to pay back to,
And last but not least,
The one I wanted to care for all my life.

I love you dad.
Forgive me...


Jard The Great said...

wow.. tak sangka ini perasaan mu wahai adik ku syg.. huhuhu..

love this entry tho

joegrimjow said...


nanti ku buat review
thx ya
really appreciate it

hisham said...

salam..i miss my late father....

Mimpi said...

Simple yet captivating.
I vote for this entry.

flygurl said...

miss my late father...

FarhanaDr said...

Macam macam emosi ku rasa di sini.. Hmmmm.. Nice one.. All the best zeneria.. :)

moment said...

best enty nih..
rsanya semua anak merasakan perasaan yg sma kan?

Good Luck!~

rhapsody LiN said...


nak nanges bley x??
huhu... miss my dad

Anonymous said...

aku baca dulu kat blog kakak ko
memang bagus entri ni

HEMY said...

aku tak baca ada tulisan kopi pes dari sini...akak ko sudah kasi promote..hehehe

eh..ko ni adik dia yg mana satu??yg sungguh2 wat muka nyanyi tu ke dlm video dia tu??yg miming tu??


ezzati said...

adik jard!!! :p

joegrimjow said...

da buat review

joegrimjow said...

keptusan da diumumkan;)
terima kasih sebab join

aisyahumaira said...


entry ni menerangkan how i feel about my father too...& this entry can decribe abaout my father's thinking & feeling...

entry ni sangat touching... :)